Friends of Choices - Self-Test for Codependence

Patterns of Codependence

Are you codependent? These Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence are published by Co-Dependents Anonymous, as a tool to aid in self-evaluation:

Denial Patterns:

I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.

Low Self Esteem Patterns:

I have difficulty making decisions.
I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.

Compliance Patterns:

I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
I accept sex when I want love.

Control Patterns:

I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

See our Recovery Resources page for more about where you can go for help and information. If you think you may suffer from codependence, and haven't found it already, one essential source is the Co-Dependents Anonymous website.

Important note: These self-assessment tools are not a professional diagnosis or opinion. While the results may provide you with useful information, they are not substitutes for the advice of someone trained in identifying and treating addictive disorders, who can understand your personal situation. Friends of Choices provides the information herein "as is," without warranties of any kind. We make no representations including without limitation warranties as to accuracy, timeliness, completeness, or fitness for any purpose of any information or link to information contained on this site or other sites or correspondence. Under no circumstances shall Friends of Choices or any of its directors, employees or consultants be liable to the user for any damages whatsoever.

"Take the Test" is a service mark of Friends of Choices Inc., a not-for-profit corporation in the service of people with chemical dependency and those who love them. "Take the Test" is sponsored by the individuals and organizations that support Friends Of Choices. We thank them for their support and commitment to you and me and recovery.